How can I be full of excitement and brokenhearted at the same time? This is a roller-coaster life. I’m not used to roller-coasters.

The pain of impending goodbyes hovers ever nearer, like a knife creeping up to stab me. At the same time, at least once a day I think about returning to Tennessee and feel like jumping for joy. I want to leave, but I don’t. I want to go back to Tennessee, but I don’t. Sometimes I’m calm and other times anxiety hits me like a breaking wave.

I think this is normal. It’s “transition,” which is missionary speak for “a big change in your life.” There’s not much I can do about it; I’ve just got to hold onto God and what I know is true, and buckle down until the storm passes.

A more practical update for those wondering: I have possibilities on the job front. Thanks a million times to those who have prayed about that. I’m excited, but I don’t want to jump to conclusions because nothing is certain yet. I’m encouraged, though.


2 Responses

  1. Yes, the transition can be hard…

    Glad you have some prospects in the job search! I’m still looking myself. :-/

  2. hey Jess! I’ve been thinking of you and praying for these transitions.
    I am struggling with adapting to transitions in my own life right now, too. I know God is ever so unfailingly faithful!! and yet it is so hard to apply, practically-speaking, in my moment by moment living. I am thankful that our God is gracious and full of mercy.
    isn’t it funny how “waiting on the Lord” is a never-ending circle? as soon as one waiting period comes to a close, it seems like a new one opens. is this simply because God is testing my faith AND patience? 🙂
    God be with you and keep you, sustain you and guide you.

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