a public address

I’m waiting for bread to rise.

What better time to write a blog post? We all know watched bread dough never rises.

I struggle with knowing what to write in this blog. Technically, anyone in the world can read it. (Hello out there.) Of course, that doesn’t mean that everyone in the world will read it. On the contrary, I doubt that more than a dozen will. Still, the exposure is a little intimidating.

Those of you who do read my blog when I deign to post every few months probably think I am a woman of few journalistic words. Ha, I say, if only you could see my personal journal. I’ve become far more attached to it over the past few years. My last entry there was eight pages long. So, I haven’t given up on writing. Maybe I’ve just given up on writing to a wider audience. At least, I hesitate before posting anything here, and I’ve discovered the bliss of writing for no one’s eyes but mine and God’s.

Sometimes I look around and laugh. (Hey, it’s better than crying.) This fall has tossed more challenges in my direction than I bargained for, yet I know I’m learning. Lots. My job is the biggest challenge, and I’m wondering if teaching eighth grade is my forté. (I think it’s not.) There are the moments of satisfaction, of laughter, and of enjoyment. They come between long spaces of frustration, however. I get frustrated with the students, but also with myself. Perhaps that’s par for the course of a first-year teacher, no matter the grade level? I’m guessing some of it is. But I still think that I connect better with those of the high school age.

The other challenges? Well, I’ve had a lot of driving (mis)adventures this fall. A traffic ticket, a near-wreck, and a flat tire in a month’s time. I’m paranoid about driving as a result, but I do it anyway. My heart rate goes up every time I get near an intersection. I miss the light-less traffic circles of Europe.

I still miss Germany. It’s a temptation to idolize my time there despite its challenges. It’s nice that I remember the good things and tend to gloss over the difficulties, though. I miss my friends and mentors there. And I miss the Witt girls. Oh, I miss those girls! It’s hard to explain how much, or all the reasons why, but it feels like part of my heart is empty, and I still grieve. But it’s getting better.

Happy things: I love my church and small group here. God gave me a gift in them. I ripped myself out of the BFA community that I loved, and came here to find that He’d put together another great group of people to support me in the next chapter of my life. I’m also having a great time co-sponsoring a Burmese refugee family with a few friends from church. We’re tutoring them in English a few times a week, and so far it’s been awesome. They are very sweet, eager to learn, and fun to work with. I’m grateful to be involved in an international ministry even here in podunk Tennessee: another answer to my prayers.

I’m tutoring a few homeschooled students in the area and am hoping to teach a class at a local cooperative on Friday mornings starting in January. I’m relishing these things. It’s great to be using my degree and teaching what I love.

Okay. I’m going to leave this public stage and see if my bread dough is sufficiently risen.

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2 Responses

  1. Yay, you posted. 🙂

    I find it hard to post things on my blog myself, but I’m afraid that is because I don’t have much to say. 😛

    It is interesting how one becomes more alert to situations where they were in a wreck; I rear ended a car that had stopped suddenly, and so I always freak out when I’m riding with someone who is following too closely, or doesn’t slow down soon enough for me.

    Sounds like things are getting back together for you on the home front…

  2. Podunk Tennessee? NAH!!!!!!

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