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balancing act

The speed of my life lately varies greatly from one day to the next, it seems. Perhaps that’s why I spend time wandering around online when I’m not working, wondering where I should invest my time and energy. The second half of my summer was so hectic with traveling that I hardly had time enough to sleep, much less spend idle moments online. In the space of three weeks, I went from Tennessee to Washington to California; back to Tennessee for a few days, then to Colorado, back to Tennessee for 24 hours and a job interview (crazy, yes?), then to Virginia for five more days. I arrived home on Sunday evening and began my new job on Monday morning. Still busy. My new job only happens on Monday and Tuesday mornings, however, so the rest of this week is dragging. I have a second new job to anticipate and prepare for in a few weeks, and much work to do on the apartment I hope to move into in the near future, but both projects are at that point of “I want to go ahead and dive in but must be patient a little longer for some reason or another.”

So I spend time thinking, reading, praying, and… yes… browsing Facebook. I have a love/hate relationship with Facebook and the internet in general. It is a powerful tool, enabling communication (and community) that was impossible twenty years ago. Simultaneously, it is a black hole of time. I get online, and an hour later I step away from my laptop wondering what I’ve accomplished. That’s not always the case: sometimes I’ve had a meaningful conversation with a friend on Gmail chat, or perhaps I’ve written a business e-mail or a blog post. Mostly, though, I’ve done nothing but wander.

Balance. Routine. Self-control. Perhaps I should write these words on post-it notes and stick them all over my computer desk.


One Response

  1. Jessica, I clicked on your profile and then the “my website” link and found you!

    After reading your entry, I feel like I can completely relate to the pull of the internet that you described in this post, specifically facebook. It was actually uncomfortable the first few days after deleting my account because of how out-of-the-loop I suddenly felt. I had to remind myself that I was the one who made the choice to terminate my account.

    I admit that there are days that I miss being a part of the network, but the other part of me knows that it will inevitably take up time that I need to spend furthering my future as a musician. Having said that, I still depend on my computer to aide in my practice, and after the second day of being computerless, I find myself feeling a bit thrown.

    The question I suppose is whether technology is really helping or hurting? Is the pull that you referenced earlier driving or dehibilitating?

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