I’ve spent a reflective late afternoon and evening. I probably can’t articulate what I’ve been thinking and praying about, but maybe the words will come later. I’ve been nostalgic the past few days; homesick for Germany a little, and otherwise in the frame of mind to take stock. To step back from my life and look at a larger picture. Usually I strain to see any glimpse of a larger picture, but when I have sufficient time to be still, sometimes I can.

Today I didn’t have a monumental revelation, but I did end up with a sense of awe. I’m overwhelmed by the details and happenings of my life; the things that happened that I asked for and did not ask for, the pain and the healing, the devastation and the renewal. There’s such beauty in the process even though it hurts.

Most of all, I’m overwhelmed by God’s compassion. I’m thankful that not only does He have compassion on me and every member of the human race, but that He also cares enough about me to periodically break my heart and recreate a longing to be compassionate to others.

Today I realized: it is not the idea of heaven, the fear of hell, or the knowledge of His vast strength that draws me to my God, the God of Christianity. It is His compassion. It is the way He has drawn me back to Him every time I’ve gone away: this clear sense of overwhelming, unconditional love. Grace. Mercy. Compassion. It is difficult to describe, but I had to try.


2 Responses

  1. Jessica,
    I enjoyed your post. I too become homesick for Europe at times. I too am amazed at God’s compassion and deep longing to connect with us. Thank you for trying to describe. 🙂

  2. Thanks, Dayna! It’s good to hear from you. And yeah, Europe has a way of getting under your skin and staying there, doesn’t it? I know I don’t belong there anymore, or at least not now, but I still miss it.

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