mysteries

So don’t throw away your confidence, which has a great reward. For you need endurance, so that after you have done God’s will, you may receive what was promised.

Now faith is the reality of what is hoped for, the proof of what is not seen. For by it our ancestors were approved. By faith we understand that the universe was framed by the word of God, so that what is seen has been made from things that are not visible.

(Hebrews 10:35-36, 11:1-3)

The concept of faith remains mysterious to me. It seems like the longer I live, and the longer I know God, the bigger He gets and the more questions I have. Ultimately, I feel closer to Him, but sometimes it can feel like I’m further away because there are so many new things that I don’t understand. When my life changes, He bursts out of the box I’ve placed Him in, and that’s a good thing, but a scary thing. Again, I have to ask: what am I hoping for? Where is my faith? What is my faith? Do I believe that it is a “reality,” as these verses insist, or do I understand it as an emotion?

Do I have confidence? And where is the confidence placed? In a person, in my expectations, or in God Himself? And how exactly do I place confidence in God Himself?

It’s good to ask questions. It’s good to be in a place where I know that I need Him. These are mysteries, but they are beautiful.

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