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maid of honor

One of my best friends is getting married two weeks from today.

I’m going to be the maid of honor. I’ve never been a maid of honor before. I’m excited, but a little scared. Not because I think my friend will expect anything of me that I cannot fulfill, or that any bridal party drama might ensue. On the contrary, I can’t imagine that happening with this group of people, and especially can’t imagine my friend becoming a Bridezilla. It’s not going to happen. I’m scared, instead, because I might cry at the wedding. I guess that is a lame reason to be apprehensive, but this is one of my top two closest friends to get married (so far) and I made it through the other friend’s wedding only because she didn’t shed a tear. If my friend who’s the upcoming bride starts to cry, I think it’s going to be a domino effect…for this bridesmaid, at least.

Why is it embarrassing to cry in front of others? Where does that fear come from? Maybe insecurity? Fear of being vulnerable? Crying makes you vulnerable. I don’t know, but I wouldn’t mind becoming more like the people who can (gracefully) cry in front of others (without making them feel awkward – unless it’s a truly heartbreaking situation, in which case everyone understands, and the other people will probably be crying, too). Showing emotion, for those of us on the more reserved end of the spectrum, is always a little scary. I guess that’s why I am holding my breath at the emotional ordeal I might be about to endure.

But I’m glad, and whether or not I can manage to get through the ceremony without tears, I am overjoyed for my friend. I wouldn’t have it another way.


4 Responses

  1. I hope you have the most beautiful time at Jana’s wedding! I only wish I could be there to see the Joy on everyone’s faces 🙂
    I was so afraid that I’d cry in the wedding that I was in this past March. I kept thinking the same thing too… so long as the bride or her sisters don’t cry, I don’t think I will. We managed to hold out until it was time to say goodbye that evening. Her mom and sisters were crying and before long I was bawling too. Hehe. 😉

  2. Aww … I came from Gretchen’s blog at The Little Pink House and this post made me smile and (almost) cry because a dear friend of mine is getting married that weekend too (the same one I wonder? Jana in WI. I SO wish I could be there too!!!) and one of my little sisters is getting married the weekend after that … and I’m a bridesmaid at her wedding. And I’m, too, afraid I’m going to cry! Thank you for sharing. This post has really cheered my today!

    • Yep, the same friend (Jana). 🙂 Small world! I’m glad you were cheered by the post. I’m afraid that watching my sibling get married someday will be even harder! I’ll be sure to cry. 🙂 But that’s okay. Congratulations to your little sister!

  3. Cry away, dear friend. ::hugs:: I know I will, Chris will, Amanda will, my parents will….. It’s okay. It really is. Showing emotion means you’re real.

    Can’t wait to see you!!!! 😀

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