this song is how I feel…

…to some extent. It especially matches my recent sense that true change comes from within us. Changing circumstances definitely alter us, yes; but lasting change? It comes from inside. Ultimately, it comes from the power of God, but that flows from the inside out. I think a lot of people wait for outward circumstances to change instead of realizing they have the power to change their circumstances. I am one of those people, too. Life circumstances feel very restrictive sometimes. And sometimes they do hold us back physically. But I guess what I’m saying is that our life circumstances need not hold us back spiritually and emotionally. I can “show up for my own life,” as Sara Groves writes, and choose to fully experience what is real. That thought can be frightening because some life experiences are unpleasant, and experiencing them fully does not sound appealing or even bearable. But when I face the truth – let light shine down deep inside – somehow my fear, tied up in denial, starts to disintegrate and I know that the ultimate outcome will be good. Because God is good. That is the wellspring of hope.

So I want to live, honestly and truly. To “live my life inspired” and to “look for the holy in the commonplace.”

Spending my time sleep walking
Moving my mouth but not saying a thing
Hoping the changes would take by working their way from the outside in
I was in love with an idea
Preoccupied with how a life should appear
Spending my time at the surface repairing the holes in the shiny veneer

There are so many ways to hide
There are so many ways not to feel
There are so many ways to deny what is real

And I just showed up for my own life
And I’m standing here taking it in and it sure looks bright

I’m going to live my life inspired
Look for the holy in the commonplace
Open the windows and feel all that’s honest and real until I’m truly amazed
I’m going to feel all my emotions
I’m going to look you in the eyes
I’m going to listen and hear until it’s finally clear and it changes our lives

There are so many ways to hide
There are so many ways not to feel
There are so many ways to deny what is real

And I just showed up for my own life
And I’m standing here taking it in and it sure looks bright

Oh the glory of God is man fully alive.

–Sara Groves

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4 Responses

  1. Jess,

    I so appreciated this post! I love that song, and your thoughts echoed what I have been learning in my own life about circumstances and how I respond. Thanks for sharing!

  2. awesome post, thanks for sharing! I’ve never heard that song before, but after reading the lyrics, it was definitely worth a listen. It completely reflects the importance of how we choose to respond to life, instead of just observing it.

    • Yes, it is important to consider how we respond to life instead of just observing. It’s really living…interacting and engaging with the people and circumstances around us, even when that is difficult (because we live in a messed-up world, sometimes it will be). Thanks for your comment, Gabrielle! 🙂

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